Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 43: Thunderboxing Hobo Bushido

A kybo in the wildEver meet a man who shows off his colostomy bag in a public restroom? Steve and his son did, and lived to tell the tale! Also, Jason learns about kybos and yurts while reiterating his loathing for all portable pooping possibilities.

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 42: Utah Hot

Swimmers enjoy the natural Utah hot springsHow hot has Seattle been? So hot that children are fighting on futons! So hot that it’s more like Utah hot. It’s got Steve in his perpetual state of percolating rage. Jason, meanwhile, has issues with dropping chocolate on his office chair (yes, it’s chocolate) and the magical clean-up that never takes place. Alien chairs? You be the judge! Also, why can’t you take Asians camping? The guys file their report.

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Today I Learning (Nothing) Episode 41: Clutching A Trash Bag Full Of Fruit

Wild Hogs starring Tim Allen, John Travolta, and Martin LawrenceSteve’s travel adventures continue! Meet his travelmates: Monopoly guy gone feral, sleeping lady in front of him, and bearded guy! Cower in fear at the man clutching his trash bag of fruit! Indulge in businessmen flying to avoid their spouses! Endure multiple viewings of Wild Hogs starring Home Improvement’s Tim Allen!

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 40: Fish Stick In Your Mouth

That kiss from The SandlotSteve spent some time at Shanghai Disneyland recently and it only served to remind him that youthful infatuation is the same around the world, Chinese T-shirts can be horrifically offensive, and tube tops are always a bad idea on roller coasters. Meanwhile, Jason has a T-shirt that sends mixed signals to Russians and Americans alike.

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 39: The Pop-And-Lock Explanation

Will Smith and Jimmy Fallon perform the Pop and LockIf someone doesn’t know what popping and locking is, how do you show them? Steve wants to know. If you play video games around your kids, how do you hide your competitive ugliness? Jason wants to know. And everyone wants to know the best creative curses to utilize when the children are around.

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 38: Dan Aykroyd’s Ghostly Weiner PSA

Dan Aykroyd poses with his weird drink in a skull-shaped bottleSteve assumes any lady wearing matching underwear is up to something, so Jason helps him crank that up to 11. Also, have you really given the Dan Aykroyd getting his weiner touched by a ghost scene in Ghostbusters enough thought? The guys think not and offer their opinions and expertise.

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 37: The Pant-riarchy

Casual friday at the office, wearing flip-flopsSteve has been on the West Coast for all of a couple months and he thinks the East Coast needs to CHILL OUT. The Midwest simply says, “meh.” Also, the guys talk about why you want a strict dress code when it comes to your accountant. Finally, Jason is trying to eat healthier. He thinks this means he should eat more cheese. Steve tells him why that’s dumb.

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 36: Did He Look Hard?

Man in a beanie with a propellerDo you keep haunted stuffed elephants under your stairs? Is your co-worker secretly (or openly) a huge beanie enthusiast? Is Steve angry at Jason for liking scarves so much? The answer to these questions and more is up for you to come up with, because Today, I Learned Nothing.

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 35: We All Just Want To Have A Happy Ending

Cheetos Quesadilla from Taco BellJason hates his body, so you get his review of Taco Bell’s Naked Chicken Chips as well as McDonald’s Signature Crafted Recipes. Meanwhile, Steve thinks he found a brothel and is ready to explain the intricacies of erotic massage to his co-host. Finally, comic shops are known for a wide array of varietals in flatulence. But what do you do when the comic shop owner is the most flatulent one of all?

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 34: Penguile Dysfunction

Penguin turned otaku by zooEver hear of a penguin who falls in love with a human woman? How about a cartoon representation of one? Also, bridges are terrifying to some, but traumatizing to all who have gotten their heads stuck in one. Finally, Jason’s robotic childhood was robbed of many seminal, heart-wrenching moments. Let’s make him relive them now!

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