Vacation’s over and it’s time to talk about a LOT of wrestling! Money in the Bank came and went, Carmella stole the briefcase (twice), and that lovable bearded maniac made his return. Things are going pretty well, so let’s talk about our hopes and fears for the first-ever Great Balls of Fire PPV event!
We refused to hinder the Jinder and now we’re all just bit parts in his Punjabi celebration! We also got one of the best matches of the year from two guys who exist on the fringes of the WWE Universe, but who stole the show nonetheless. Also of note this week: Gargano and Ciampa are the MVPs of the week, KO on Talking Smack was brilliant, Pete Dunne needs to learn how to carry a championship belt, someone gave Breezango guns, and why Nak ain’t strong style on the mic. Keep your wad and enjoy the show!
Alistair Black is an awesome kickboxing vampire, we think. There are other things to talk about that don’t matter as much, but we’ll run them down anyways. We do have questions, like: is a dumpster threatening when worn as shoes? Does Ziggler think owning a monkey and a ferris wheel is a bad thing? Are Breezango really the number one contenders for the SD Tag Titles? When will Jack Gallagher finally get his due? When will the Hardyz break, and will Cesarmus be the ones to do it? Does Steve think of Joe vs. Lesnar in bed? Will Jinder ever return the WWE Title? And just what ARE Great Balls of Fire?
We’ve arrived! The speculation ends as WrestleMania begins! Will The Broken Hardyz resist the temptation of tag team ladder matches? Will The Gorgeous Vampire Baron Corbin bring prestige back to the Intercontinental Championship that we forgot Dean Ambrose currently holds? Will we see a shooting star press from Lesnar? Will JR and The King return to call one more match? Will we care about Wyatt or Orton when all’s said and done? Tune in to the entire 6-hour extravaganza and find out!
This past week in WWE (which was most definitely NOT the go-home for Fastlane) featured a return to the Kevin Owens of old, and that is a return we can get behind. The Big Show also returned for a great showing against Strowman in the Raw main, plus Naomi broke our hearts when she had to drop the title. So much emotion, and then Brock Lesnar stared into our souls and we’re afraid to leave the house. Vroom vroom Fastlane, hurry and get here! (Also, sorry about Jason’s sound quality. He has been punished.)
The Royal Rumble is nearly here, and our biggest problem is TOO MANY MONSTERS! Meanwhile, Sami has a new character and it’s … different. Also, Charlotte fought a wavy tube man, Bray hit his son, Dolph tried to kill The King (again), and Mickie James made her return to the main roster! Time to reset and do all this stuff again! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the most historic Survivor Series in history! Who will win ownership of the cruiserweights? Which team will emerge victorious? Will Steve continue to rely on CBS Sports for his pro wrestling news? Will Bill Goldberg survive the night? Who will piss off the Undertaker? We have no answers, but listen as we ponder the possibilities!
Woof. Talk about a terrible go home episode of RAW to take us to Hell in a Cell. Steve and Jason take turns hating on all things Monday Night, including Lesnar’s bizarre non-promo, repetition, and MAKING HERSTORY. Also, both guys agree that Smackdown is the better show now. Join us all for this weird, WTF-ish build-up to tomorrow’s event!