Raw didn’t have much this week, but if you can’t get behind a slow build to a Shield reunion, there’s nothing you’ll like on the WWE main roster this week. Meanwhile, Hell in a Cell is tomorrow we don’t really care because: one or both of the Hype Bros might turn, Roode’s entrance will outdo Ziggler’s, Orton will have an Orton-ass match, The Usos and New Day will steal the show, Shane/KO will end badly, and we hope the U.S. and WWE Championships swap places. Finally, should we care about what’s going on with Bray? History should steer you on this one. Enjoy the Cell and hope for no Hell!
The lesser of the big two is here, it’s time for SummerSlam! Join Jason and Steve as they praise Titus Worldwide for the joy and wonder that they bring to the world, ask just when the Intercontinental Title will be defended again, plead that we all get on the same page when a MITB cash-in is made, predict a Carmella cash-in, fantasy book Shane-o-mac’s Precarious Structure Vision, ponder whether or not the Jindtourage will grow again, and convince each other that the new Universal champion will look good with the strap.
Shane made the first Women’s Money in the Bank match in history! Alexa Bliss and Bayley had one of the worst segments in Raw’s history! Orton will beat Mahal because of history! Is Aries poised to finally win because of history? And for the first time in the history of Extreme Rules, a historic Fatal 5-Way match will determine the number one contender for Brock Lesnar’s Universal Championship, which has gone missing for the first time in WWE’s history! It should be a memorable one, if not historic.
We refused to hinder the Jinder and now we’re all just bit parts in his Punjabi celebration! We also got one of the best matches of the year from two guys who exist on the fringes of the WWE Universe, but who stole the show nonetheless. Also of note this week: Gargano and Ciampa are the MVPs of the week, KO on Talking Smack was brilliant, Pete Dunne needs to learn how to carry a championship belt, someone gave Breezango guns, and why Nak ain’t strong style on the mic. Keep your wad and enjoy the show!
Alistair Black is an awesome kickboxing vampire, we think. There are other things to talk about that don’t matter as much, but we’ll run them down anyways. We do have questions, like: is a dumpster threatening when worn as shoes? Does Ziggler think owning a monkey and a ferris wheel is a bad thing? Are Breezango really the number one contenders for the SD Tag Titles? When will Jack Gallagher finally get his due? When will the Hardyz break, and will Cesarmus be the ones to do it? Does Steve think of Joe vs. Lesnar in bed? Will Jinder ever return the WWE Title? And just what ARE Great Balls of Fire?
If you’ve ever used one human being to hit another human being, you know how satisfying it can be. Nia Jax does it. Braun Strowman does it. Big people prefer to use smaller people as weapons, it’s canon. Also, Jason gets to educate Steve on the nuanced career of WCW’s Lodi, both guys freak out over Jinder’s current freaky body, the Colons could be a thing, Joe shouldn’t cut promos after matches any more, the perfect time to watch 205 Live, and why Strowman is STILL the best thing in WWE right now.